THE GURU

The guru sits upon his peak

And ponders hard and long.

Then finally he's moved to speak;

"We're doing something wrong!

"They look for truth, so pure and clear,

The sinner and the saint.

But I must tell you truly, dear,

One answer, there just ain't!

"We all must live within our minds

And our mortality,

And learn that there are many kinds

Of true reality.

"Ask no one else for truth, my friends,

But your own counsel keep."

And with these words the lecture ends;

The guru's gone to sleep.

FAT PILLS

When I see the meat on the platter,

Or a gravy boat, piping hot,

I just have to breathe to get fatter,

Whether I eat it or not.

I look at a meal as a frolic;

It calls as a flame calls a moth.

My problem is one metabolic;

I burn up less fat than a sloth.

But now I'm at peace with my tummy.

I think I've discovered the way.

I skip the desserts sweet and yummy,

And stick to just six meals a day.