INTRODUCING ERIC W. ROPES

Eric is the younger of my two sons; his 30th birthday was November 6. Like his brother, he was born in Huntington, Long Island. Also like Chris, he has blue eyes, adores animals, is very sensitive and has a natural gift for the English language. And that is precisely where all similarities between the two stop. Where Chris is tall and tends to be slim (well, he used to be slim!), Eric is shorter and stockier. Chris has blond hair ; Eric's is very dark, and very brown, and getting very (prematurely) gray. While they both have their dreams (don't we all?), Eric is probably the more pragmatic of the two. When he sees something he wants, he can go after it with amazing gusto.

Eric was born in 1975, and his mother and I separated less than two years later. We didn't have time to form the close bond that I enjoyed with his brother. To this day I think there were many times when Eric felt like he was on the outside looking in, and I feel guilty about that. But if I was a little more distant with him, there were a couple of reasons. I have always loved him as much as I am capable of loving anyone, but Eric was never as needy as Christopher. When he was very little, and we all went out to a big, scary department store, his big brother was the one who held my hand and looked around in awe; Eric promptly marched up to the nearest short-skirted young salesgirl and started groping her legs. With that kind of a "bull in a china shop" approach to life, I just never worried about him too much; I knew he'd always land on his feet.

It was unlucky for Eric that he came into the world when his parents' marriage was already crumbling. Eileen and I both knew in our hearts that we weren't going to be partners for life. I have no clue why we thought it was a good idea to bring a new baby into the middle of that, but I'm eternally grateful that we did. Eric spent the first two years of his life in a world where the tension was constant and the arguments were frequent. He escaped by turning inward and looking for peace and quiet within himself. He became a little distant and uncommunicative; to this day there are times when he can be so inscrutable that you wonder just what's going on in his mind. He is most definitely not uncaring or unfeeling. It's just very difficult for him to trust anyone enough to share his thoughts or concerns with them.

After the divorce, both boys initially stayed in Minnesota with their mother. Eric's relationship with his mom was pretty rocky, but he hung in until he was sixteen. He decided that he wanted to come and live with me, and I ran out and bought him a plane ticket. The flight was on Braniff International, and they proceeded to fold their wings and go out of business the night before he was supposed to board their plane. No other airline would honor the ticket, so we had to book him another reservation a week later on another carrier. I framed that ticket, and I still have it. This family never does anything the easy way.

As many people can attest, being a single parent is no simple task. We had some very tough times together, the three of us. I was too busy trying to earn a living to spend much quality time with my sons. We spent five years in a pretty sleazy apartment in Parsippany, New Jersey, and the boys had to share a bedroom. But we all held up with (relative) good cheer, and somewhere along the way I got to know my younger son. I have to say that I liked and admired what I saw. This was a young man who walked his own path. I learned that he was certainly not insensitive; he felt things very deeply. He was slow to warm up to people and never indulged in the typical high school politics, and so had few friends. I'm sure he had many sleepless nights worrying about both the present and the future. But he faced his demons with a quiet courage and determination. And he was fiercely loyal to the friends he did have. His most frequent companion was a young man who could best be described as a social misfit; but they liked each other, and that was good enough for Eric.

You may have noticed that I've spoken very little about Eric's writing. Believe me, it's not because he isn't talented. You'll see that for yourself as you peruse these pages. It's simply because there is so much more to him than that. He writes (and very well) when the mood strikes him, but it isn't an all-consuming passion. In fact, right now he's studying to become a Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer. He and I share an enthusiasm for computer technology, and we can (and do, since he recently moved in with me here in Jacksonville) talk for hours about it. The best part is that it's really brought us close together, to the point that Chris now sometimes feels like the outsider.